Day 1: 15th April.
The day probably is normal to everyone else, but to me and a few more like me, this day is when we thank God for giving us a lady whom we cherish in every day of our lives.
The smallest memory of her is painstakingly beautiful. I grew up in her arms, she was the one to feed me everyday after school with tales of Ramayana, tirelessly telling me the epic in her own sweet way. I still remember how she used to roll oru 'vaai' of paruppu saadham with vendekai or beetroot in the middle. My earliest memories of her were of her tie and dye sarees and the faint smell of Mysore Sandal Soap all around the house.
There was a charisma to the way she was. She was simple, yet to me she was like the biggest idol ever. I remember the way she used to freshen up everyday, sharp at 4PM. She would wash her face and there used to be a little bit of soap left on her forehead (this is something I too do and have a hard time telling my husband that it is normal). Then she would dab on some Yardley powder and with her index finger apply the perfect red vermilion on her forehead.
Some memories are strange. After we lost her, I never used to think about her much, but over the past few years, I think how things would be if she had been around. I know, my life and several others' would have been completely different.
So why talk about somber things when I want to start something new? Maybe it is because I have been trying to see her presence in things I do. Especially since I got married. I have been trying to walk the path she laid forward, ever so gently.
Sometimes people say I cook like her. I never used to cook, but have always watched her cook and have been one of the few people whose tongues and tummies are always thankful to her tasty meals. I wouldn't say I cook like her, but I try to. In an effort that some day, at least one dish that I make would remind me of her.
I try to be calm like her. I have never heard her utter a bad, angry or rude word to anyone at all. She was always pleasant and soft. I must admit, I am nowhere close to being like her, but I am trying hard. Deep down, I know that just the thought of wanting to be like her has made me a changed person.
Having spent 20 years of my life under her shadow, there has been lots to learn and lots to follow. Like my aunt just rightly said, she would have been 81 today and surely spreading her warmth and charm all around. I know I would be right in saying that there certainly isn't one soul on this planet like her.
Her loss has been heavy, but I am happy that we got a strong vote sitting next to the Big Man up there, rooting for us in everything we do.
Wherever you are, I know you are the brightest star in My life.
Happy Birthday Kannu.
